


126 - The Good Ol' 'Pretend To Be My Boyfriend' Trope

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: Cute meet, F/M, Hero Van, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 16:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17429120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompts “a fake dating story? Like van wants to make someone jealous or something but he and the reader end up actually falling in love?” from @binksey, “someone getting harassed in a club or something and van stops the guy and helps you stop being upset” from anonymous, and “a girl at a concert or something and this guy won’t leave her alone so she grabs onto this stranger and says "pretend to be my boyfriend” but doesn’t look at his face because she’s looking back to see if the guy is still there and then she looks and realizes he’s from the band that’s her best friends favorites, Van, and he says something about her being beautiful and at the end of the day says he could just actually be her boyfriend?“ from anonymous.





	126 - The Good Ol' 'Pretend To Be My Boyfriend' Trope

"Okay, so you wait here, and I'm going to go check around the front in case they come out there, okay?" Sayo said. Her pupils were huge and you could see how excited she was at the prospect of potentially meeting her favourite band. You'd played the role of good friend and listened to Catfish's two albums in the lead up to the concert. You thought they were good, but you were stuck in 90s nostalgia and would never not listen to The Smashing Pumpkins on repeat. Catfish were amazing live, you'd give them that, and regardless of if you knew all the words, it was easy to jump and dance around to their sound. You'd never seen Sayo so happy, so you were grateful for that.

You nodded and watched her walk around the corner of the venue. She'd cased the joint early, and had determined that if the guys were going to come out and meet fans, they'd probably come out the back. Sayo had friends from the internet positioned there, she'd be out the front, and you were standing near a side door that was probably permanently locked. You didn't care if you met them, so this way you could be useful but not be caught up in the fray.

After ten minutes you lit a cigarette and stood back against the wall as someone came around the corner. You recognised him from the show - he was standing against the bar at the back most of the night. He and his friends were drunk, and groups of drunk men unnerved you. The guy was alone though, and he'd come around the corner to urinate against the wall. You rolled your eyes and turned away; men think they own everything.

"Heyyyyyyyy, babe," the guy's slurred voice from behind you spoke. Wrongly, you assumed he was done. Turning around, you were forced to watch him tuck himself back in and zip. He grinned at you, knowing what he'd done. "How'd ya like the show?"

"It was good," you replied shortly, turning away again. He walked over and stood in front of you, too close.

"Why ya waiting out here by yourself?"

Punch him. Right in the throat, a voice inside your head said. That would probably just make him angry; potentially he'd lash out. "Waiting for my boyfriend," you replied. He nodded in suspicion.

"Where's he at then?"

"Be here any second now,"

"Right," the guy said and stepped closer. You meant to step backwards, but your body had frozen in fear. He reached a hand out and took the cigarette from between your lips and put it between his. "You mind?" he asked for permission too late. The violation had occurred. He took another step and his hand came back up and he ran his thumb along your lip. Your stomach churned and your body launched into action. You pushed him and turned to run. Crossing the street and turning down an alley, you collided with a body.

"Woah woah woah," the person said and held you by the shoulders. "You alright, love?" he asked.

Not looking up at him, or the person he was talking to, you looked behind you and watched the guy follow you down the alley.

"Pretend to be my boyfriend," you whispered, but the tone was an order. An arm was wrapped around you and you were pulled close. You leant against him hard. Not deterred, the guy approached.

"This your boyfriend?" he asked you. You nodded.

"Mate, not trying to pick up my girl are you?"

The guy didn't respond. Instead, he kept his icy glare at you and smirked. "You telling me you're dating the singer of the band?"

You looked up then. Van (you knew his name because Sayo had told you his entire life story at least twenty times) was standing there, holding you. Next to him was Larry.

"Dead lucky, isn't she? Think you better go sober up somewhere, buddy," Van said. His words were friendly, helpful, but his tone was a warning. The guy shrugged and looked at you one last time, imagining what could have been done. He slinked out of the alley. You breathed for two beats, then started to cry. Van let you go and held your face in one hand and wiped the tears away with the other. "Hey, hey, you're okay. He's gone. You're alright," he said quietly, and you nodded. He pulled you back into his arms and ran his hands up and down your back.

You needed a moment, and Van didn't rush you. He rocked gently from one foot to the other and restarted his conversation with Larry. You half listened to them, but half tried to not let yourself think about the guy, about the taste of his hand on your mouth, about the body chasing and the fucking look in his eye. It was a story that had played out in your mind a thousand times. Every time a man walked too close to you. Every time you walked home alone. It was a story that had played out in the mind of most girls in the world. It hurt to know they didn't all end with Van McCann stepping in.

When their cigarettes were burnt down, Van let you go. You straightened your skirt and looked at him. "Okay?" he asked. You nodded slowly and wiped your face.

"Have I cried off my makeup?"

They both laughed. "Nah, honey. You're still beautiful. I've got to go back over, but did you come with someone? Can I take you to them first?"

"Um, yeah… She's over there waiting for you, actually,"

"You weren't?" Van replied with a warm grin. You shrugged. You followed him out the alley and across the road. As soon as he appeared out the front of the club, people rushed to him. He whispered something to Larry, who took your hand and lead you around the crowd. You pointed out Sayo, and her face when approached by Larry Lau was priceless. She asked him questions and got a selfie, then he hugged you both and went back to Van.

You told her then, what had happened. She asked if you wanted to go home, but you declined. "I'm alright now. Besides, you've got to meet them all, yeah?"

"Benji and Bondy came out before! Look," she showed you the photos. You were happy for her.

The crowd began to thin as Van made his way through it, signing CD booklets and sticking his tongue out at cameras. Eventually, he walked over to where you were. "Didn't get your name," he said.

"Y/N. This is Sayo," you introduced. He shook her hand and she couldn't form words. "Can you sign this for her?" you asked, taking the t-shirt out of her hand and giving it to Van. He wrote across it and drew messy hearts and fish. She took it back and nodded, still speechless. "And a photo." It turned out cute. "There's one more, isn't there?" you directed at Sayo.

"Bob," she whispered.

"Bob. Is he coming out?" you asked Van. He looked around, seeing how many people were left.

"He's been a bit sick, so he's probably not going to. If you want I can take you inside to see him?"

"Oh, I don't want to annoy him," Sayo said.

"Nah. Think he'd like that someone asked for him, you know? Come on," he ushered you around the corner and into the back entrance. Inside, you stood against the wall of the room next to Van as Sayo sat next to Bob on a couch and asked him questions. She spent most her time talking about Van, but she loved Bob more. There both shared a quiet warmth.

"Thank you," you said to Van.

"No problem. We owe a lot to fans, you know. Least we can do,"

"No… Not just for this… for before, in the alley,"

"Oh. Yeah, no. I'm sorry that even happened to you."

It was getting late, and you assumed the guys wanted to go back to the hotel, sleep before whatever they had to do tomorrow. "Sayo," you called. She nodded and hugged Bob.

You thanked Van and the guys again and left through the back entrance. Walking down the street, Sayo was buzzing. She skipped and swung around street polls and kept looking at the photos. Every few minutes she'd stop and apologise. A bad thing had happened to you, and she felt guilty that it coincided with the greatest night of her life. You reassured her that it was fine. The tension was slowly leaving your body, and her happiness was fixing your mood.

The city was alive and drinks were waiting to be consumed. Coat checking in your jacket and Sayo's signed shirt, you drank with her for an hour. On the way back from the bathroom, a familiar voice spoke close to you, as an arm wrapped around your shoulder.

"Pretend to be my girlfriend?"

Van was grinning down at you. You gave him a confused look, then a girl appeared. You wondered how she got in the bar; she looked underage. She was in a tight velvet skirt and a lace bralette. Looking like an extra in a video for The 1975, she hardly gave you a second look. The conversation between her and Van was one sided, and you looked around the bar for explanation. Sayo was sitting at a table opposite Bondy. They were flipping cardboard coasters and trying to catch them. The others were probably around somewhere.

"It must be hard to, like, make proper connections with people on the road," the girl said. It wasn't a question, but an assumption.

"We do alright, don't we Y/N?"

"Oh…" She was putting it together. "This is your girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Love of my life, all that," he replied, and kissed you on the cheek, pressed his forehead against you before standing up straight. She seemed unconvinced. You didn't blame her. You were far too normal to be with someone as extraordinary as Van. Her attempts at flirting wrapped up quickly; realising her love was unrequited. Van took your hand and you followed him through the bar to the table where Sayo and Bondy sat. Benji had joined them.

"That girl looks 'bout twelve," Bondy said.

"She's sixteen," Sayo said.

"How do you know?" Van asked.

"She's famous on Instagram because she posts all this weird shit about you guys,"

"Oh my god. She's that one?" you laughed. The girl's concept of what healthy love is was significantly skewed.

"Do we want to know?" Van asked. Sayo shook her head.

"Well, she's still watching you like a fucking hawk, mate," Bondy said. You all casually pretended to not look across the room for her. She was leaning against a guy playing pool.

"I think she's trying to make you jealous?" Benji said, with a look on his face that was pure second-hand embarrassment.

"Oh, mate, buddy, two can play that game," Van replied, and literally dragged your chair closer to him, and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you in close.

For an hour Van stayed within arm's reach of you. He'd lean in and whisper things, mostly just, "Pretend this is the dead sexiest thing you've ever heard," and "Never met anyone funnier than me, right?" You played along. It was hard to tell if you were pretending to like it for the sake of the game and Van, or if you really did like it and were pretending to not because getting a crush on a guy in a band seemed like an awful idea; as evidenced by the emotional state of the girl across the room.

Van stood to go to the bathroom, and as he left he held your chin and angled your head. He leant down, kissed you on the lips, then walked away. Benji and Bondy both had grins on their faces. 

"What?" you asked.

"That girl left a while ago," Benji said. Sayo giggled, apparently also aware of the fact. You looked around the bar. It was late (or early the next day, depending on how you measured it) and there were fewer people around. Definitely no girl.

"Why…" you started, stretching the word out, "…What's he doing?"

"I'd say he's trying to woo you, mate," Bondy said.

"No," you laughed.

"You should have seen his face when he spotted you in here. Got up straight away, but that girl caught him first. Guess it worked out though. Good ice breaker,"

"He asked me if you have a boyfriend," Sayo added.

You said nothing more and excused yourself to get water at the bar. There you sat on one of the stools and took your time sipping. Van skipped the table and joined you at the bar.

"Can I ask you something?" you asked him. He nodded and ordered a water too. "At what point did you realise that girl had left?"

"Yeah… just realised it's a bit fucked that I didn't say something?"

"Yeah, just a bit," you confirmed.

"I'm sorry. I just… You're beautiful and I like how you love your friend so much. You're just… easy to be around? I think you fit in here,"

"Here being?"

"I don't know. With me?"

God, even the good guys can't help but play tricks. He was sorry though. You looked at him. He wasn't lying; he was being genuine. Trying to not grin, you looked away. Sayo was laughing over at the table again, and maybe she fitted in with them too.

"So what's the proposal then?" you asked, turning back. He shrugged.

"We've only got a couple more shows 'round the place, then we're back here for a few months to write the next album. That's pretty much done though, so I'll have free time. We can hang out? Go on a couple of dates?"

The bartender was packing up, and people were being kicked out. Benji came and said they'd wait outside. You stood and let Van follow you to collect your jacket and Sayo's shirt. Had she forgotten about it, now that she was making real friends with them? Outside you watched her say goodbye to Bondy and Benji. You gave them a little wave. Van was waiting for you to say something. You looked at him carefully.

"You're serious,"

"Dead. Yeah. I could be your actual boyfriend, you know? Instead of all this pretending,"

"But we're just so good at the pretending," you joked.

"Well," he stepped closer and put his arms on your shoulders, his wrists resting on them. "We'll probably be fucking real good at the real thing, then."

You nodded, biting your lip. He smiled, leant in and kissed your forehead. You put your number in his phone, and let him kiss your cheek. 

Sayo linked her arm with yours as you walked in the opposite direction to the guys.

"Well… This has been a very dramatic night," she said. You laughed in full agreement.


End file.
